80 unique opponents over 28 seasons - tap each one for even more stats!
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| Team | P | W | D | L | GF | GA | GD |
| El Dicente | 24 | 11 | 1 | 12 | 65 | 86 | -21 |
| Winkle Ravers | 19 | 3 | 4 | 12 | 43 | 87 | -44 |
| Ware's The Goal | 16 | 4 | 0 | 12 | 30 | 70 | -40 |
| Corn Flakes FC | 15 | 1 | 4 | 10 | 39 | 61 | -22 |
| Roadhouse | 12 | 4 | 1 | 7 | 30 | 37 | -7 |
| Gerihatricks | 10 | 5 | 2 | 3 | 37 | 31 | +6 |
| Mary's Old Boys | 10 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 32 | 29 | +3 |
| Manchester Titty | 9 | 6 | 0 | 3 | 28 | 24 | +4 |
| Gyros | 9 | 4 | 1 | 4 | 22 | 33 | -11 |
| Old Bulls Head | 9 | 3 | 1 | 5 | 24 | 25 | -1 |
| Hoddesdon Rovers | 9 | 1 | 2 | 6 | 20 | 32 | -12 |
| Bengeo Tigers | 9 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 7 | 52 | -45 |
| Fatzio | 7 | 3 | 0 | 4 | 21 | 24 | -3 |
| White Bears FC | 7 | 3 | 2 | 2 | 21 | 11 | +10 |
| Spread Eagle FC | 7 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 12 | 17 | -5 |
| FC Pudding | 7 | 2 | 0 | 5 | 14 | 32 | -18 |
| Exeter Gently FC | 7 | 0 | 1 | 6 | 19 | 40 | -21 |
| The Van Dijks | 6 | 3 | 3 | 0 | 18 | 11 | +7 |
| Babinhos Galaticos | 6 | 2 | 0 | 4 | 19 | 21 | -2 |
| Thundridge FC | 6 | 1 | 0 | 5 | 10 | 23 | -13 |
| BXB FC | 5 | 2 | 2 | 1 | 17 | 13 | +4 |
| The Lions FC | 5 | 2 | 1 | 2 | 12 | 9 | +3 |
| Moleicester City | 5 | 1 | 0 | 4 | 5 | 16 | -11 |
| Chromes FC | 5 | 0 | 1 | 4 | 7 | 20 | -13 |
| Shemshank Redemption | 4 | 4 | 0 | 0 | 21 | 6 | +15 |
| 2 Goals 1 Cup | 4 | 3 | 0 | 1 | 23 | 14 | +9 |
| BXB Albion | 4 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 16 | 19 | -3 |
| The Green Team | 4 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 9 | 7 | +2 |
| Backstreet Moyes | 4 | 2 | 2 | 0 | 8 | 6 | +2 |
| Berocca Juniors | 4 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 10 | 22 | -12 |
| Out Of Retirement FC | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 9 | 44 | -35 |
| FC Broxbourne | 4 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 7 | 17 | -10 |
| Robin Your Nans Pursey | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 33 | 8 | +25 |
| Real Sosobad | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 24 | 5 | +19 |
| The White All Stars | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 26 | 3 | +23 |
| Stars FC | 3 | 3 | 0 | 0 | 16 | 5 | +11 |
| Paul My Dickov | 3 | 2 | 0 | 1 | 22 | 11 | +11 |
| We Don’t Care | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 10 | 16 | -6 |
| Split A G FV | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 12 | 12 | 0 |
| Black Eyed Peas | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 12 | 10 | +2 |
| Lads On Toure | 3 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 14 | 13 | +1 |
| Skyscape FC | 3 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 18 | -14 |
| Level Up Futbol | 3 | 0 | 0 | 3 | 4 | 24 | -20 |
| Shem | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 18 | 2 | +16 |
| Inter Spud | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 9 | 1 | +8 |
| Petr Cech Yourself | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 12 | 2 | +10 |
| Ware Youth FC | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 7 | 1 | +6 |
| The Barge | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 8 | 1 | +7 |
| Duncan Roberts | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 2 | +4 |
| Heavy FC | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 6 | 5 | +1 |
| Snout FC | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 5 | 10 | -5 |
| Inter Row Z | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 9 | 1 | +8 |
| CR FC | 2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 8 | 8 | 0 |
| Stella | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 14 | -12 |
| It Was Only Matip | 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 7 | 8 | -1 |
| Lions | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 4 | 6 | -2 |
| Ready Toulouse | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 7 | 9 | -2 |
| The Waterboys | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 11 | -9 |
| Lagertina | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 3 | +2 |
| Crystal Phallus FC | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 1 | +1 |
| Better Removals FC | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 0 | +4 |
| Covid Unknown | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | +1 |
| Lager | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 1 | +4 |
| TBC FC | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 4 | 1 | +3 |
| FC MA | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 4 | -4 |
| Richo FC | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 8 | -6 |
| Hertford FC | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 5 | -2 |
| Borussia Munchonfatback | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 10 | -8 |
| WSFC | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 6 | -3 |
| Rumpel4 FC | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 0 |
| Open View Sab FC | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 8 | -7 |
| Bengeo All Stars FC | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 4 | -4 |
| Unathletico Madrid | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 3 | 0 |
| Psv Transport Eindhoven | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 6 | -5 |
| Scott Czech | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 6 | -3 |
| Barely Athletic | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | -2 |
| Kevin & Perry's | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 3 | 10 | -7 |
| Reids Cross Gray 2 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 4 | -2 |
| Hoddesdon Town FC | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 2 | -2 |
| Leavemyarsealona | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 2 | 3 | -1 |